Dying to know what your thinking inside, dying to know what your thinking about, at every moment of every day, I just want to know what your thinking inside. 

I want you to take me somewhere no ones seen,
I want it to be special,
No only for me, but for you,
I just need to know what your thinking inside, 
I can’t possible hurt you, 
I wouldn’t in a million years have the power to,

Starting, starting’s the easiest, easiest way to start, way to begin.

-Nothing to think, I can’t find a reason why you’d do this. Is there something wrong with me. Did I do you wrong.

-Don’t say your going to prove it if your just fake as fuck 

-I don’t even know who I am anymore, and its killing me, killing me like watching you ignore me. I just want to be loved and find out who I am. I am whoever I want to me. But what is that I want to be. Changing my hair or my style crazy isn’t me. I’m so lost in trying to be like everyone else. I’m a mile away from me

-The first thing I learned from her is that when she says she’s fine she’s really lying through her teeth. She’s one of those girls that’s been fucked over so bad its easier for her not to feel anymore. See she had this thing for manipulation down to a fine art and she doesn’t even realize it. She’s not the type of girl to stay for long or meet the family. Its whatever makes her steal heart beat. Whatever makes her breath. Weather its the sex or the booze its fake. Faker then when she tells you nothings wrong . It used to drive me crazy because this girl had so much love inside her yet she just pushed every person that ever cared for her. She pushed them so far away they’ll never look back. They pain of what she’s done haunts her every day thoughts. Each move she makes influences her tomorrow. Weather there right or wrong as long as she’s not the one whose hurting. She’s got this idea if she doesn’t talk about it she won’t think about it. She’s dead inside but can still pretend. Shell always pretend. Pretend about everything and anything she wants just to show she’s strong. I used to feel bad for how the cared feel but shess tried to push me away. So I cut her loose because I realized you can’t help someone that enjoys there own pain ……. 

-Starting to lose my mind. Lose what’s right. What was right is now wrong. All there is, is wrong. I can still almost convince my self that anythings right

-Its been seven months, seven months of wondering, every second wondering where you’v been, who you’v been with. Finally starting to feel like this will be forever. Forever till i hear the sound of your beautiful voice again. Forever till i get to smell your sweet smell. The smell of flowers in the spring. I never did get to watch the sunset with you. I never did get to hold you for hour and just sleep.

-You rushed into my heart, You rushed into my skull Like the first time i saw a flower. The beauty the smell Its everything I wanted. Your everything I wanted. I couldn’t have that flower.. It was all I though about that night. I felt it in my bones I felt it slipping away. I took my heart out of my chest I just didn’t need it anymore, I took my head out of my skull I just didn’t need it anymore.. I know need to flower back I can’t live like this I need you! 

-These burns…they hurt, they hurt a lot. But you see I’d rather feel the pain of the burn then the pain of not being perfect, the pain of not being what you want in every situation! So this burn it helps me I like that pain. I crave that pain the same crave I get for music. You see, these things are distractions.. Distractions from the truth. One day I’ll have to face the truth but for now let me be distracted please

-I hope someday this will all reverse. Why’d we have to lose the nobility of clear blue Skye and climbing trees. we grew up.all of us! We became judgemently and rude! Can’t you see what are lives have came to be. I watch people I love turn into rust. They need to learn that theres much more to this world. Were to blind to see whats really here right in front of are eyes. Please someone send us back In time when we had the nobility of clear blue sky and climbing trees! 

-Perfection? Please.. What you want is more. You want better then that. That sir is something you’ll never get from me. Sure I’ll keep trying to be what you want. But in the end when I don’t live up to what you want I won’t be sorry because your going to suck me dry___ dryer then the dessert! Dryer then this summer. I’ll be gone but at least I tried?

 -You picked me up just to watch me fall. you said you never ment to but girl you got me high and burnt me out faster then ever. no you did more. this was your intention all along. you ment for this to happen you wanted me to fall in-love you with. you made everything seem like it was going to be perfect but you new all alone this would happen I hope you happy because girl this is what you wanted. 

-Everyone says people change, is that statement really true? how do people know? maybe it’s simply everything else changing, not the people, not the feelings but the world. people are just trying to live up to society,takes longer for some people hence why they think people change they just don’t what’s coming for them yet.

 -Tryig to fill this void. nothings good enough to fill it, I need something better then you!

 -What if I can’t forget you? you’v went on without me, but I’m still here, what am I supposed to do… I take one step forward and it feels like five back. stuck in the middle of death and suffering. please just come back for closer.

 -I just want someone that will always be there for me at any moment. I want the perfect girl. I want to make her happy every second of every minute of ever day. I keep searching for this girl. there’s no one out there like you. anyone would be lucky to have you, your not just what the perfect girl would look like, your everything that describes her! you have this game down to a T and i love it. I want to be the one that texts you telling you how beautiful you are and how much more you deserve then a girl like me! i want to be the one you fall asleep with every night after staying up for hours talking about where we want to be with each other in the next years. Iv realized all this and Im not just going to forget about it so do please give me a chance. that’s all I’m asking I’ll be everything you ever needed and want. baby I’ll never let you down!

 -Well both go down together we may never come up baby i know this wasn’t easy! but I’m thinking of worse things I could say to you because a promise doesn’t mean anything anymore. I could only sing the sad songs and you could sing alone. because I’m tung tide and terrified.

 -why would anyone want to be forever young! ima be the mother fucking best living up the time I have on this fucked up world. 

-As if it happening wasn’t enough, I gota go and do it again. is this what you call a get away? what am I getting away with! I’ll have another drink and drive my self home. I bet the’ll be ice on all the roads and I’ll remember you when I forget to put my set-belt on, again when my head goes threw the wind shelled.

 -Your all I write about I don’t know if I actually feel these things, I can’t tell. i never think about you other then when I’m writing! I can’t tell if I’m over you or not! I just wished I never met you. everything would be fine. no I actually wish we worked out! id be the happiest person in the world, I’d make you so happy! I haven’t though of this in a while but I just love the though of US!! although it will never happen in a million years I can still just imagine, that’d be great for now.

 -This is the reason I’m alone, I’m complicated I’m falling apart! Iv lost everything because of they way i am. I’ll never be with anyone.. and I’m not fine with that anymore!

These thought, these thoughts I have.. There over powering. There over powering everything. Everything I got babe. One day because of all these thoughts.. I’m going to have nothing.

 Take me away now. Why watch me fail when you know I’m going to.. Why do that. I’m you. I’m apart of you. There’s nothing you can do to help me. So give the fuck up and back off. That’s all I’m asking from you. I want nothing more and nothing less. Give me up now before I put you threw more hell. Because I’m not giving this up. So get used to it.. that’s all you got 

you haven’t left yet but I know your on your way. I’m on my knees waiting. Waiting for you to come save me. I hope one day they’ll see what they did wrong.

This is already become something I didn’t want it to. I don’t want to become attached. I don’t want to fall in love. I cant. But I am, everyone does. But I cant. Its not me. There’s nothing I can do now. But I need to stop thing. What do I do? I have no one to turn to without you but I need to.

 I’ve been to hell and back. I spill shit, trip, and embarrass myself. I can’t just flutter my eyes and get that boy. my life is messed up. I’ve been through more shit than you see on tv. nobody’s perfect. I’ve been lied to, cheated on, and had my heart stolen, I’ve fucked up, fucked people up, and been fucked up. but, every hit was worth it, because I felt it. I knew it was real. life is real, and I’m living it wrong every day. I’m fucking up royally and doing everything opposite. but do I regret one thing? never, because at one point, what I did was what I wanted and I got my fucking satisfaction. my life is mine and no stupid bitches or immature boys can fuck it up for me anymore. I’m the real deal and I’d love to see you try and fucking break me.

I used to be such a burning example. I used to be so original. I used to care I was being cared for. Made sure I showed it tothose that I love. I used to pray like God was listening. I used to make my parents proud. I was the glue that kept my friends together. Now they don’t talk and we don’t go out. I used to know the name of every person I’d kissed. Now I made this bed and I can’t fall asleep in it.